Fly on a wall

There are plenty of instances where I've wanted to be a fly on a wall. Well, last night I was. Last night was the faculty Chanukah Party at my school. At these exclusively social events, I find myself floudering to make converstaion or even at the least be included in one. I can make small chit-chat on Sunday mornings in the teachers' room like the rest of 'em, but telling long, involved, amusing stories-- thats not in my reportoire just yet. So I took a look around the circle of chairs, hoping to identify someone safe enough to sit next to. Nope. I spot Avi, the maintenance guy, sitting down. Nice guy, he's probably about 65. I'm thinking, this can't be that bad... I mean it's Avi... I've asked him for hammer and nails, I've asked him to fix the toilet, we've interacted before...thats at least more than I can say for some of the other people in the room. So I take a seat next to him. I say hi and sit quietly, not putting any pressure on myself to make converstion. Awkward silences don't have to be awkward I decided. After a few minutes he asks me, "You live in Modiin?" to which I say "Yes." Then I say , "You?" and he says "Yes." Silence. Then I say "Do you want a drink?" And he says, "Thats ok, I'll go get one myself." And that was the end of our conversation... I told you I was bad at this!
For this party everyone was asked to bring an item of food to contribute to the shmorgasboard. I decided to bring chocolate crinkle cookies (KP II). I could have chosen something much easier- plastic ware, drinks... but no-- because I'm on a misson. As an olah chadashah I'm on a mission to teach Israelis that there is life beyond rugelach. Its been an uphill battle, but I think I'm making headway. Last month I introduced my co-workers to Kosher Palate chocolate chip sticks. They were wowed. I consider last night a success because I got some requests for my recipe!! Mark my words, there will come a day when Israel will understand that bakeries can be home to dozens of kinds of pastries, not just one-- and you will have me to thank.
Anyway, the night turned out to be fun, as a fly that is. I took in a lot. I listened to conversations, I laughed at jokes, I tasted the food that everyone raved about. I am convinced that my co-workers think I'm such a dead-head because I never say anything even remotely funny, I never fight passionately about anything. I just listen mostly... and nod sometimes. When I look back at last night I feel as though I had a good time, even though it was in a passive way. I am able to admit that I gained by being there even though I didn't contribute much at all. Though in my eyes the chocolate crinkle cookies was enough of a contribution.

School trip... in style

Last week I went on a trip with my first grade class to a science museum in Jerusalem. What I learned most from this trip is teh following: Israelis take their trips VERY seriously.
My students had been looking forward to the trip all week, an oppportunity to go on a fun excursion and leave their classes behind. I quickly learned however that this was not the main reason for their excitement. As I mentioned above (See aruchat eser entry), Israeli kids are not allowed to bring unhealthy snacks to school for lunch. On trips however, they can bring whatever their heart desires! Chips, chocolate bars, you name it! This dominated most of the converstion in the classroom in the morning and most of the commute to Jerusalem. What did you bring?, Did you see what he has? I'll trade you, I have this from America, I have Chanukah coins, and on and on. These snacks were packed into small knapsacks, about half the size of a Jansport, which amounts to about a 1/4 of the size of the normal hunka-knapsacks these first graders lug (or roll) around. The cute thing about these mini knapsacks is that they detach from the original hunka-knapsack by a zipper compartment. To think that the Israeli knapsack manufacturers understood the children's excitment for tiyulim and the importance of the mini-knapsacks on these tiyulim, is just very... thoughtful. As soon as I saw the bus I knew that these Israelis take their trips seriously! It was a coach bus! as if we were off to Washington D.C. for our 8th grade trip... only this would be a 45 minute bus ride with first graders. As soon as we approached it, all the kids started throwing their mini knapsacks underneath into the luggage compartment. I stood there thinking to myself, "Is this really necessary? I mean, isn't that meant for luggage?!" Just then one of my first graders said, "Rena, nir'ah li she zeh be'emet bishvil mizvadot" which translates to,"Rena, I think this is really meant for suitcases". Ahhh, a sigh of relief... there is someone else normal here. Needless to say, the museum was great, the kids really enjoyed it and learned a lot. And I was able to say I learned a lot too...

"Aruchat Eser"

For all those future olim out there, I figured I would give a lesson in making an Israeli school lunch, or "aruchat eser" as they call it here. There is no hot food at lunch in the Israeli public schools. In fact, there is no lunch room. The children bring food from home and eat at their desks. "What is aruchat eser?" you might ask. There is no simple answer. It can be interpreted as a snack or a meal, eaten at 10 o'clock in the morning consisting of a sandwhich and some healthy snacks.

You see, in America it is taught that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but here they teach, "Skip breakfast, and just eat at 10". That didn't work for me because I was waking up starving! So I just ate 4 meals: breakfast, 10, lunch (at 2 PM, when I got home), and then dinner. This wasn't really working for me either because it was starting to look like I would need a new wordrobe in the next size. I had no other choice but to become a nonconformist. Who cares if everyone in the teachers room and every child in the school is eating a meal at 10?! I declared I will NOT eat at aruchat eser, I will eat my lunch (and it will NOT be a sandwhich!) at my 12 o' clock break, case closed! I've been doing that for about a month now, and aside from the weird looks I get at 12 o'clock, its been working for me.

Working in an Israeli school I've learned what red-flags you as an American during lunch: Ziploc bags, aluminum foil, and peanut butter. Steer clear of these items and you'll fit right in. I've been studying the cultural phenomenon of aruchat eser and here is what I've absorbed thus far:

Sandwiches are wrapped in napkins, then placed in plastic sandwhich bags (but not ziplocs!). Sandwiches contain cheese or chocolate spread. The only "sweet" item they are allowed to bring is a "Shugi", the equivalent of a "Kudos" bar. Lunch boxes are packed with sliced fruit and vegetables! All food items are packed into the bulkiest plastic container one can find (no paper bags!) The children eat quietly in their seats and are allowed only to whisper. All I have to say is, it's a site to see!

Why can't they just call it plastic?

I started working in an Elementary school in Modiin in September. There were many things to learn, as it is with any new job. There was one thing that took me a while to get over, however. In America, all businesses, schools, and organizations file their papers the same way-- in manilla folders which are then placed in filing cabinets. In Staples, there are whole aisles dedicated to manilla filing folders, different sizes, colors, quality... Clearly this was one of those things I took for granted. In my school, (and I'm begining to think this is quite common in other offices as well), instead of manilla folders, files are stored in clear plastic filing bags, called "nylons". Instead of being arranged in filing cabinets, they are stood up and placed in these triangular cardboard boxes, or in larger-than-life-binders. Now, you might ask, so what? whats the big deal? I''ll tell you. Its inefficient. Sure, its cute that you can see the whole front page of what youre filing, but the negatives far outweigh the positives here. First of all, as I was trained by my wonderful fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Sobel: always use paper over plastic. Paper is easily recycled, plastic is not. duh. (With the exception of D.O. who thinks recycling is stupid). Paper files stack well, where as plastic bags are slippery and they slide. Paper ensures that the contents are confidential and unexposed. Paper folders open easily and are easy to jot notes on, as opposed to plastic. Paper folders allow you to flip through an entire file in seconds, whereas for the plastic ones, the contents first need to be removed from the bag to leaf through, and then returned afterwards. I think I rest my case. But most disturbing of all, is that in my school- where plastic reigns... they give the injured kids cubes of ice wrapped in paper towels-- I kid you not! Don't tell anyone, but whenever I give a kid ice for a bruise, I steal one of the plastic filing bags, and give it to them in that. As if getting hurt isn't bad enough, you also have to get wet??

Mission Statement

Ever since I moved to Israel three and a half months ago, I felt as though I would go about my day with a running commentary in my head which noted how different every aspect of life is here than it was in America. Some days the commentary was so pronounced that I felt like I had replaced Will Ferrel and was the star of the sequel to "Sranger Than Fiction" (for those of you who don't know what I'm reffering to get it from Netflix..worthwhile, in my opinion). In any case, with all these thoughts mulling around my head, I figured I would put them to good use- record them for my own memory's sake, and maybe try to amuse a small audience while doing so.

I called this blog "Bumps on a Blog" firstly, because i thought it was just the most adorable name... but secondly because I've learned in the past 3 months more than ever that life is full of speedbumps, and you just gotta buckle up and roll with it!

Unfortunately i wasn't the only clever blogger out there, and the address for bump on a blog was taken. so I decided to pay homage to one of my beloved though short-lived TV shows, by naming my website http://mysocalledlifeinisrael.blogspot.com.